Hot Picks May 1, 2020

Published by Ken on

Adding a little plant knowledge.

FROM THE DESK OF BILL VARGA:  Fill in the blank:  Enthusiast ______________.  WOW! Let your fingers do the walking has an all new meaning these days.  As an old guy learning new technology and mindful of the care one must take before popping open any old selection on the I-Pad, I found a seriously delightful post on my youngest daughter’s Instagram feed.

   A friend suggested she enter an art show, #Quarenteenyartshow, as a pick-me-up during these down days this past month.  After some thought, she sculpted an earth worm on a pedestal, and with her two year old son painted a variety of flowers, bugs, etc. which were hung from a trellis among her now 3” tall garden peas.  Add the jurors (real live earth worms) and “Action” camera.  “Viola!!”  Peas, sculpture, earthworms, paintings, blue sky and a celebration and yet another way to step beyond the malady which surrounds us.

   Ahh, yes, if you haven’t planted your garden yet, main warm season crops of squash, tomatoes, peppers, can be purchased and planted around Mother’s Day.  If you forgot or want another crop of peas, save some seed and plant another crop in August.

    For now, go to #quarenteenyartshow to lift your spirits.  Earthworms Rock!!

Hot Picks May 1, 2020

Joke of the Week


   Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.    He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.  Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 in Ft. Wayne, IN. who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.  Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

   Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother.  Last week I had a bad day at the office.  I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office.  It’s a wet suit.  This time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.  This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful temperature.  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.  Now this sounds like a darn good plan and I’ve used it several times with no complaints.

   What I do when I get to the bottom and start working is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.  This floods my whole suit with warm water.  It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.  Everything was going well until all of a sudden my butt started to itch.  So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse.  Within a few seconds my butt started to burn, I pulled the hose out from my back but the damage was done.  In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

   Now, since I don’t have any  hair on my back, the jelly fish couldn’t stick to it.  However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.  His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.  Needless to say, I aborted the dive.  I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

   As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

   So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.        Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?


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